I AM AN IRISH BOY

This is the 7th week of my last subject (I hope) for Life Span. Yet we are still stuck in our project. I think it is wise to explain it here so that who ever visits my blog will response to it. And I DO need response from others.

But before that we have to come out with a scrapt book with this new identity:

IT'S A BOY

• Ireland boy - Wexford, South Ireland : Lower middle working class
• You are the 3rd & youngest boy. you have one older brother (6 yearsolder) & another older brother (4 years old)
• You come from a very traditional catholic household
• Your father works as a forklift operator in the coal mines
• Your mother is a tired house wife
• Your father drinks a lot of beer & spends much time in the pubs, but he is not an alchoholic
• Your father is emotionally & verbally abusive to family members, sometimes physically abusive to children
• All three boys are destined to work in mines with dad, but you develop a keen interest in ballet dancing
• Between the ages of 3 & 8 you suffer gender identity disorder.
• An empathetic school teacher realizes this and helps you through this without your parents finding out
• as a young child you spend much time looking in the window at the neighborhood ballet school
• Your father will not allow you to take lessons even though the teacher will take you for free
• He doesn't believe boys should be dancing
• At the age of 10 you begin studying privately with the ballet teacher behind your father's back
• 3 years later your father finds out that you have taken these lessons, but slowly begins to accept this
• when you are 16 you realize & accept the fact that you are HOMOSEXUAL & have your 1st sexually intimate relationship when you are 18
• At the age of 18 you are accepted into, on scholarship, The London Royale Ballet Academy
• You dance professionally (ballet) until you are 40. After which you return to South Ireland & teach in the ballet school where you were 1st trained
• your parents never come to know that you are HOMOSEXUAL
• You never have an exclusive relationship, but several lovers throughout your life
• You live out a happy & unproductive second half of your adult life

Wow what a precise & long explanation of my new identity kan?This assignment really makes my head turns up side down & pushes my commitment to the limit. Thus, to the viewers of my blog, if u have any info or suggestion I REALLY APPRECIATE it & NEED it. Please help me...

ABANG IS BACK

18 Aug 2008-Abg reached home at 1am from his last SOJT at Kota Kinabalu. And his mission perhaps I hope was complete. And it was a BIG relief for me and especially for little Nabihah. when she woke up this morning, she was really delighted to see her abah. Rather than asking for her nenen she smiled sweetly to her abah telling all her stories with ibu yesterday.

"Abah Nabihah mandi sungai smlm dgn ibu dan mak une, abah Nabihah naik bus Hookey Pookey (the same bus she rode during her Hookey Pookey training at Female Sports Complex for Sports Day and infact every time she sees the UIA bus in UIA she'll be saying the same). Abah Nabihah makan ice cream smlm, abah Nabihah makan sweets smlm"...and abah had no space to respond back since she wanted to tell everything at one shot.

Hopefully Nabihah will behave accordingly like she behaved before these while and HOPEFULLY everything will just like befoore abang went for his SOJT. Now I realized how HARD it is to handle my one little daughter alone when her abah is not around. Like Nabihah always said: "abah ada banyak duit Ibu ada sikit duit" Cute je bunyi nye

08 08 08

08 08 08 (Friday)-Beautiful & perfect date, but perhaps I could say it does not bring anything significant, rather than:

a) Abg still going for his SOJT (early in the morning before he left home, he said to Nabihah : Nabihah behave, listen to ibu, abah nak work lama..nanti abah beli baju gambor cat, ok. And Nabihah nodded with her eyes were still closed.

b)This week only left Nabihah and me since nyah, yam and aculid going back to Parit for onyang's kenduri (kenduri turun batu and welcoming Ramadhan)

c)I still stuck in completing my presentation for my Life Span class with Dr. Diana (satu2 lecturer mat salleh kat Fakulti Pendidikan (Kaunseling)di UM)

d)Thesis yg dah diapprove since the past 4 months yet I havents start with either chapter 1.

e)I still not feeling very well after 5 days on MC, badan masih lagi lemah2 dan cepat penat..tapi kerja mesti diteruskan...BERKHIDMAT UNTUK NEGARA.

Itu je kot..tetapi selalu membuatkan aku sesak nafas, especially perkara no 1...I keep on wondering, camne la org yg hubby 6 bulan kat offshore tu.

AQUARIA-HERE I COME

23 July 2008 (Wed)-Abah and ibu were on leave today...purposely to relax and spend time with beloved Nabihah. Abang was fully booked since the past two weeks. He got to go for his SOJT (Structured on Job Training). It started with these hectic schedule of abang's SOJT

a)12th July 2008-Terengganu
b)19th July 2008-Penang
c)26th July 2008-KL (& it was the time when I was warded, God always knows the BEST)
d)2nd Aug 2008-JB
e)8th Aug 2008-Kuching
f)16th Aug 2008-Kota Kinabalu

Let just share Nabihah's the sweet and sweat moments at Aquaria. Baru la kami tau anak dara kami yang nampak quite brave ni rupanya cannot cope with all the big creatures in the sea (kata anak orang laut), especially when we passed by the tunnel

Holding Nabihah tight as she wanted to 'run away' from the big fish

"Abah, Nabihah nak balik" she cried badly as she saw the big on top of her.

Photo snap. Nabihah felt asleep after half an hour of screaming and resisting the live show at thebig screen, feeding time for all the sea creatures .

TRIP TO LANGKAWEN

April 2008-After few months of planning, we went to Pulau Langkawen (Langkawi, Nabihah pronounces it as Langkawen). we took MAS package inclusive of elephant riding (which abg was very eager to bring his daughter) and stay at Eco Park Hotel (exactly at the side of Bukit Mat Cincang).

nabihah really enjoyed herself during the stay. As we brought her to mandi air laut every evening. Initially she could not stand the sand and at last the sea became her spot. (Maklumle anak orang laut)

In front of hotel. Nabihah took shower at Langkawi as we departed from KL at 8am and left the house at 5.50am

At Pantai Cenang. Look at Nabihah's face. "Ibu...Nabihah geli la pasir ni..eee...eee"

At last...Nabihah cannot resist the sea water. Siap tepuk2 air lagi
At Rabbit Farm, just in fron of our room. Nabihah macam biasa, awalan geli but at last sampai semput semua arnab tu dikejarnya.

In the cable car (Nabihah pronounces it as Table Car). She behave accordingly sebab ada uncle naiki gondola yang sama. Pemalu betul anak dara ibu sorang ni.
At the peak of Bukit Mat Cincang

Elephant ride, tgk elephant kat belkang tu..tengah tunggu abah nabihah bag makan pisang. As a token for his service to us.

At Langkawi Bird Park. All the birds look like statue but it was the real bird maaa. Nabihah macam biasa masuk kereta ada aircond terus tidur. Gambar ini diambil sebab nanti nak tunjuk dekat dia all those birds. She really likes animals, like abah dia lah.
Taman Buaya. The shows were very fantatic. Steve Erwing (betulke ejaan nih?) pun tak leh buat cam tu.

AL FATIHAH

7 March 2008 (Friday)- When I was having counseling session, K izan knocked on my door, she received call from Nyah saying that opa had passed away. I burst into tears badly as we have planned to visit opah tomorrow after my class at UM. Opah left us at the age of 77. after she spent 1 week at Hospital Besar Ipoh.

Teringat kenangan bersama-sama opah..banyak ..Opah bukanlah seorang yg banyak bercakap..dia lebih banyak berdiam dan bercakap yang perlu..tetapi cara opah ketawa akan kami ingati sampai bila-bila. Kami gelar ketawa opah macam bunyi ayam berketak.. (Sori opah)

The most toching part..opah was able to spend at least 9days at her new room which mak renovated specially for opah. siap ada tempat amik wudu' dan toilet dalam bilik opah. Memetik kata emak..opah commented...Uuuuiii, emponenye embang. At least opah merasa gak dok bilik dia.

Dan sampai sekarang di kepala katil opah..mak ada tampal tarikh kematian opah dan setiap kali terpandangkan itu..hati aku jadi sayu.. Walupun tak sempat menziarah opah dan di kubur pun kami sampai seusai bacaan talkin, doa kami sentiasa mengiringi opah. Amin... Bahagialah opah di sana opah.

Syawal 2007. Gambor terakhir opah dgn kami sekeluarga. Tak sangka itu merupakan syawal terakhir bersama opah. Dan mak macam biasa akan sentiasa tangkap gambor bersebelahan dgn opah. Mak akan cakap.."mak nak tangkap gambor dekat dengan mak mak"

Nabihah was crying when onyang wanted to hold her. But it was during her 1st year. (picture taken when she was 1 year++). But since opah stayed with mak at Kuala Kangsar, every time when we went back, she was really amused to see onyang in her room. Onyang always teased Nabihah.. "Nabihah meh dekat onyang..onyang ada car ni..Nabihah car..car" and Nabihah will always smiles back to her.

And now, every time we pass by any graveyard Nabihah will say.."Ibu...tempat onyang...sian onyang mati..onyang sakit". whatever it is, memories with opah will remain with us forever. Buat opah.. berehat lah opah di sana..opah tak payah takut lagi...amin

HOLIDAY AT HOSPITAL

26 July 2008-I was warded for the second time in my life. I started to vomit, diarrhea and my temperature went up. Early in the morning after the breakfast I was about to rush to my class at UM. Abg had consoled me few times of not going. But I determined to go as I had a presentation. At last, looking at my condition abg agreed to send me to Um but he wanted me to attend only for 1 hour.

But as it mentioned in Al Quran, husband is always aula in wife's life..I just cannot move my body. thus instead of going to class abg decided to bring me to the Clinic. Abg left me for his training with a bundle of medication (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. I just hate taking medicine).

12pm I started to vomit and I didn't realize that Nabihah did not take her lunch yet. Until she said, "Ibu..nak honey stars and air coklat"..Alaa..siannye anak ibu. I was half conscious at that particular time. I rang abg several times and urged him to come back. Luckily this week his SOJT was in KL. I just cannot imagine if this happended during his tour to aother places. Nauzubillah.

Abg reached home at 5pm. and I continued vomitting until Maghrib. It was almost 30 times ++ I went to toilet . I pleaded abg to bring me to hospital.

At 8pm we reached Ampang Puteri. The doctor asked me "Ada bawa beg baju tak?" the moment she examined me. at least her laugh made me a little bit stronger. after that ward 547, Ampang Puteri Specialist was my home for 5 days.

Alhamdulillah Nabihah managed to control herself. People kept on asking who take care of her..luckily she was the one who willingly to go home with abah. Every day when she came and visited me she would say..."Ibu tinggal pistal (hospital) tau. Nabihah nak balik dgn abah. Ibu jangan cry tau. Babai ibu" How cute she is...Itulah anak-anak, sering membuatkan kita tersenyum dan menggembirakan kita..and one thing..nabihah was very excited to see the nurse taking my blood sample. Sian cakap dekat nurse tu..."Nabihah nak tengok boleh tak??" Yet ibu did not have any courage even to turn my face to the syringe.

Untuk abg, thank you for taking a good care of me during my hospitalization. and thank you for being a responsible father to our petite little daughter. To Nabihah..thank you for behaving so well when ibu was not around. You are such a wonderful daughter to ibu and abah.